Saturday, July 12, 2008

Ron Horn the Comedian Running Organizer Update

Runners & Runettes;

A fair number of you may be getting your first ever Run Update eNewletter. How you’ve made it this long in life without this eclectic collection of insight is beyond me! These weekly emails are full of good running info, regional race reminders, tasteless jokes, life observations and multiple other hooey for which you’ll probably have no need. However, they are “free” and “you get what you pay for!” If you enjoy them, and over 10,700 do (or they just haven’t gotten around to unsubscribing), do nothing. Much like locust, they will continue to reappear at regular intervals. If you hate them, just unsubscribe. You WILL find some useful information among all the ranting and raving; however, you may have to be like Indiana Jones and dig thru a lot of cobwebs & decaying corpses to find it!
1) Numbers are starting to pick up for this Sunday’s Herbert’s Off Road 7.7M Run in Allentown. This event is a combination of rustic trails, cross country, cinder paths, a creek crossing, a covered bridge crossing, and who knows what else. You can find the app on, under trail apps and then under other trail apps. Speaking of trail runs, the prereg cutoff for the MOST EXCELLENT Marsh Creek Raptor 5M & 10M Trail Run is tomorrow, postmarked by July 12 (or go on, and speaking of cutoffs, the cutoff for the prereg price for the outstanding Lehigh Valley Hospital Marathon (and Relay) for VIA in early Sept is July 15th. Save some bucks so you can afford gas by getting your apps in for these events before the prereg price cutoff! The Marsh Creek app in on the Pretzel City site under “other trail apps” and on; the Via app is on Pretzel City will time all these events.
2) Busy mid-week racing schedule next week. The week starts on Wed night with the Phil’s Tavern 5k in Blue Bell (app on The event will be officially started by Bart Yasso, author and worldwide liaison for Runners World, who I suspect will have some of his books along to sign and sell. This is a VERY well run race and the Ambler RRC draws between 400-500 for this event regularly. The following night, the best excuse for undoing the positive effects of running with multiple beers afterwards occurs; the July edition of Pretzel City Sports’ Third Thirsty Thursday 5k at Trooper Thorn’s here in Reading (app on The festive atmosphere afterwards, helped along by the 1 free beer with registration, helps offset a trail that is a just a shade small for the size crowd that we get but everyone has such a good time that the very minor limitations of the course hardly seem to matter. And where else can your entourage (your publicist, personal masseuse, speedwork coach, Uncle Ernie who can’t be left alone at home with little kids or sharp objects, etc.) sit of the deck of an fine Irish Pub and watch the start and finish of a race without ever putting down their Killians.
3) VERY busy next weekend for Pretzel City. On Sat, we will time the 1st annual 24 hr run in Phila, to benefit the wonderful Back on My Feet charity. VERY pleased to say that the registration limits for all 3 events has been reached so be sure to come down and cheer your friends on as some of them try to keep their tootsies in motion for 24 hours nonstop. Or, spend your time poking me with a sharp stick so I stay awake for some 28-30 hours. The next day, on Sunday, trail runners will ABSOLUTELY want to head to Nottingham, PA in lower Chester Co (home of Herr’s Snack, a runner favorite) and join Don Morrison for his Xterra 10K and 21K trail run. Xterra events give out more door prizes than a politician gives out favors to large campaign donors and Don runs some WONDERFUL events. Big Wayne will time this 1st year event for Pretzel City and I’m sure that people looking to get in either a medium or longer trail race will NOT be disappointed (you’ll all get an email with more specifics on this event in the next day or two.)
4) Pretzel City Sports is now involved with about 75 races a year but we do only 2 of them for free. One is the Mt Penn Mudfest, which I founded to benefit our own local running club; the Pagoda Pacers. The other is next Sunday, the Winning Kick 5k. This race is a NEAT little small town race in the suburbs of Reading known as Mt Penn, is AMAZINGLY flat for a race in a town that starts with the word “Mount”, and runs thru beautiful old tree lined neighborhoods and around a small lake. My daughter played for the soccer club that benefits from this race for years and NEVER, in that whole time, came home with a paper to sell hoagies, candles, magazines, frozen pizzas, neutered kittens, etc. Our free involvement in this event allows them to continue this history of not extorting money from Grammy, the neighbors, your co-workers and anyone else who could not POSSIBLY want this junk but is too kind to turn down you or your rugrat. I hope that ALL of you that are not doing the 20 in 24 or the Xterra race will consider helping this very worthwhile organization raise funds thru their fast, accurate and enjoyable 5k; app is on the Pretzel City site. With only 50 entries to date and over 40 awards, I’m giving this event our not-so-coveted EASY AWARD designation. Plus, they have a kids 1 mile run that gives awards too!

5) Former president Bill Clinton was at a baseball game to perform some activities for the home team. About 10 minutes before the game, a secret service guy whispered in his ear.Upon hearing what he had to say, Bill picked up Hillary by the ears and threw her mightily towards home plate!
The secret service guy ran up to Bill Clinton with a look of horror on his face and exclaimed:

"Sir, I believe you seriously misunderstood me!”

“I said that it was time to throw out the first Pitch!”

6) A lot of you have collected a lot of running knowledge over the years. If you’re interested in sharing it with our runners of tomorrow and live up north of the Lehigh Valley, Lehighton High School is looking for a new Cross Country coach.
Here’s the scoop:
Head Coach Cross Country Needed (Boys and Girls): Lehighton High School. Season runs from August to end of October and maybe longer if kids make PIAA States. Pay is $3225 and you will need criminal, child abuse, and FBI clearances. (I realize that this latter requirement will be an issue for many of you!). If interested, send a letter of application to:
Shawn Hindy, AD, 1 Indian Lane, Lehighton, PA 18235 or email the same to him at
Everyone I know that coaches XC says its one of the most fulfilling things they have ever done in their lives.

7) A young man took his date to an X-rated movie. They purchased refreshments and he showed his date to her seat.
Soon after the onscreen action started, things got hot and heavy. As they did, the young woman put her hand on the man's lap and started getting “busy”.

Smiling, she looked over at him and remarked;

"From what I can feel, it’s obvious that this is really getting you excited, too. But how come you feel so cold? Do you have bad circulation?” “No", he responded, “what I have now is your fingerprints all over my popsicle!"

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